Jefferson County celebrates media day at courthouse

County Führer Adolph Walker declared the recent addition of a wall around the Jefferson County Courthouse a success and celebrated the new Volksgemeinschaft with local media outlets KFDM, KLVI and the Beaumont PrintedLies.

The Waffen SS, under command of Hauptsturmführer Brent Weaver announced that undesirables including gypsies, Jews, Slavs and Beaumont Examiner employees would be detained and sent temporarily to processing facilities for reeducation near McFaddin Beach. A last minute pardon from Der Führer for homosexuals meant that many KBTV employees could return to work.

The only glitch that the SS reported under the new security guidelines occurred when a homeowner who was filing an appraisal dispute was accidentally incinerated in the new walk-in oven recently installed at Esther’s Elegant Eatery.