A lot of southeast Texans, including many Jefferson County residents, have been asking themselves in the wake of Hurricane Ike, "Where in the fuck is Ron Walker?".
Walker, the current Jefferson County Judge, departed from Fraud Park with Secretary of Homeland Security Michael Chertoff and took an aerial tour of the county in a basket on a late 1970's model Schwinn bicycle.
Assistant to Judge Walker, attorney Jeff Branick wanted to dispel rumors that Walker had perished in the big store on Crystal Beach as the coastal surge inundated Bolivar Peninsula with 15 a foot tide. Branick said, "Despite not being seen at all and providing no visible leadership, Judge Walker is alive and well and is looking at ways to expand the county budget in response to this disaster".
Local suckass media outlets, particularly KFDM and the Beaumont Enterprise have yet to turn on their beloved master. Their belated and predictable editorial content is now calling for more gubbment cheese and handouts and there is concern that the current commissioners court won't be able to deliver the gravy when the FEMA train stops in Beaumont.
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