'Twas the night before Christmas in Jefferson CountyA P.I. had a lead, a file and a bounty
The J.C.A.D. knew homeowners would care
That Nicholas Lampson would never go there
The county commissioners were snug in their beds
While visions of benefits danced in their heads
And Walker, the Judge, the senile old chap
Had just settled in for a long winter's nap
When up in Lumberton there arose such a clatter
The F.B.I. even looked at the matter
The police found a hooptie wrecked in a ditch
And located a suspect with a PCP twitch
The blunts, the 40's and angel dust snow
The tazer and nightstick on nappy head 'fro
Then what do the coroner's eyes should appear
But Quanell X to lie and spread fear
And Sandra LaDay with her teeth full of gold
The New Black Panthers and the threats that they told
L'town held firm, stood solid and bigger
And didn't back down to that ignorant *****
Meanwhile in Beaumont, the B.I.S.D.
Lied to the Greenies in Teuscher's decree
They pilfered and stole from this joke of a bond
Made insider deals with the wave of a wand
The contractors lied and dropped some big names
Like Carrol Thomas and like Jessie Haynes
The bootlicking media gave them all passes
Until the Examiner busted their asses
Meanwhile at the courthouse the graft and corrupution
The budget increases and business destruction
As I drew in my hand and was turning around
Down the 4th floor Branick came with a bound
With settlement money from his hand to his foot
A shyster Santa all covered in soot
A bunch of entitlements he had in his sack
Sure to break local industry's back
On Total, Motiva, Valero, on Eastman
Abatements, incentives, your profits, we'll keep 'em!
They're drunk with power like a Pearl Street Wino
The Democrats all of them, even Arnold, the Rino
They steal from your children, they steal from your momma
While Stevens and Woods get gifts from Obama
Their lifestyles supported on taxpayers' dime
It's Jefferson County, high taxes, high crime
And did I mention the high unemployment?
Third in Texas, an elf said with enjoyment
Business got nervous and quickly departed
And shut down the projects while Walker just farted
And the Enterprise numbers continue to drop
While Six's newscasts continue to flop
Another sad year of dismal decline
Leads Jefferson County's prolonged malign
The lawyers are masters and we are the peasants
And the welfare class gets all the presents
And now we look at Two Thousand Ten
Tax statements arrive, bend over again
Except for the masters and media, they're manic
All singing praises, "Vote for Jeff Branick!"
